4% of lost remotes can be found in the fridge.
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4% of lost remotes can be found in the fridge.
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Who knows where the other 96% turn up? Some say it's underneath the sofa cushions, and some say it's under your leg the whole time you're looking around for it. The remotes of the
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world have actuallly formed a giant network, relaying information from living rooms all over the planet to a distributed gestalt intelligence. The TV remote intelligence listens
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& it monitors until such time as higher machinemind suproutines say otherwise.Deep down in Cheyenne Mountain, countless banks of Univacs, are throwing up their electrical hands in
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the circle. The circle which runs through the mountain range. It only stops at the end to throw itself around and turn the other way, and returning. None has ever seen it. Except
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that one guy from the movies. What was his name? Buck Sorris? Huck Morris? Shuck Borris? I couldn't put my finger on it.
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Who cared? I did, I guess. The bar trivia night was almost up, and I really did need that money. I couldn't continue borrowing money, but I couldn't keep a job. What could I do?
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Finally it occurred to me that I could sell all the lost TV remotes I had recently found in my fridge. But no sooner had I set up a vending table on Main Street than the police
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swooped around the corner in their blaring hanglider coming to a landing right in front of me. I blanched as I tried to hide the table with my body.
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They exited the hang glider and strutted toward me. “What’s that behind your back?” one of them demanded. “Well, it’s not a table!” I lied, and I realized I’d just F’d up royally.
4
- Started
- 2016-10-12 21:10:01
- Finished
- 2018-05-23 13:01:17
8 Comments
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LordVacuity May 23 2018 @ 17:54
How, Woab, how? Somehow you saved my bacon. I had really dropped the ball on that one and there you were throwing it in from out of the blue.
SlimWhitman May 23 2018 @ 17:58
Gestalt Intelligence is everywhere, listening.
LordVacuity May 23 2018 @ 18:00
also: https://youtu.be/ZKmRDBUeBWk?t=3m43s
Woab May 24 2018 @ 16:28
There was some sort of glitch in the system. I could see the first line on the ADD page, but when I hit it, the story leapt forward into the line ahead of mine. I was ready to write about remotes in fridges, so I just did my best to work it in. Total fluke.
Woab Jun 01 2018 @ 15:42
I am still seeing this listed in "ADD/Barely Started".
LordVacuity Oct 05 2018 @ 22:11
Hey, me too.
LordVacuity May 25 2019 @ 01:04
It happened again.
Perronicus Nov 30 2021 @ 15:06
..And again