Carbuncle, Cumberbund and Cumberbatch, it

Carbuncle, Cumberbund and Cumberbatch, it is all so confusing....

confused my carbuncle for a cumberbund and wore it prominently at Benedict Cumberbatche's wedding where I was best man. But when I confused a cucumber for

a pumpernickel roll, a squadron of matrons from the Cumberlands approached me with dire intentions. But as Benedict's best man, I had to deliver the ring. Luckily, a fresh batch of

"Give me the ring," growled Benedict, suddenly hoarse with lust. "I cannot last for long without it." I figured I would cut the pumpernickel roll loose to save our necks.

So I cut the pumpernickel and it rolled over the edge and into the fiery pit. Tears squirted from benedct's eyes as he watched in disbelief. And then he jumped into the pit after

it. There was a little eruption of smoke from the pit. I shook my fist at the heavens. "Are you satisfied now, Pumpernickel God?" I gnashed my teeth, tore my hair and rubbed ashes

Onto my shirt. Pumpernickel God was pleased. His reputation was saved again Whew!

Relieved, I took a bite of the spaghettio's I had mashed between grandmommy's toes!

"Wush rong, Granmom?" I slurred in between chews of savory, meatball-embellished pasta. Or was it a meatball? I rushed Grans to the ER. "Sorry, we can't give her a prosthetic toe."