Now this is a story all about how my life

Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town

in the middle of nowhere. I was hardly aware of my surroundings when I heard the news. My whole life, completely shattered, and how was I to pick up the remains and start over?

Life seemed to fade into the horizon. Nothing mattered anymore. Food lost its taste. Hobbies I once enjoyed ceased to bring me joy. I wrote and rewrote suicide notes until hope

flooded back like a tsunami of hippie sunshine. The blood returned to the extremities of my hobbies, life was exciting again! I got my Garbage Pail Kids collection and started

my EBay store, "Horrible Nostalgia Nobody Wants." Top on my list was a life-size stuffed 'Noid and an 8-track deck in the shape of a hamburger. My HR Puffinstuff lunchbox sold for

the minimum of $.01, so that soured my mood for the rest of the day. My luck turned around at the end of the day when I saw that my 80's collection of Garbage Patch Kids when up

rummaging in the attic for other stuff I could auction. I needed to create a demand first & spent the night making a stop action movie of the Starwars films with Garbage Patch Kids

and TMNT dolls. I put the video up on YouTube and titled it Hot Girl in Tiny Bikini. Once they got the servers back up after the initial crash caused by the deluge of hits, my toy

boat toy boat toy boat toy boat parade was useless for when my video got flagged for "misleading text". But this is not a nice world, & my underhanded tactics got me what I wanted:

A year supply of Ritz crackers. Yummy buttery Ritz! But, alas, they were really really stale. Way to go underhanded tactics. Next time, I'll stick to iMovie, instead of YouTube.