"We're making nuclear weapons out of hemp?"

"We're making nuclear weapons out of hemp?" The Ayatolla scanned the lab. Which one of his scientists were responsible for this? Was it Nazir? No he hated hemp products, what

was ironic cause Nazir was such a pot head.The Ayatolla had no idea why he still kept Nazir on his team after he burned down the lab with a

birthday candle from the cake he had baked Nazir. Ayatolla was disappointed the team had not seen it his way. His only salvation was to go visit the supermarket and buy

A red velvet cake and make sure it was fresh. Nazir opposed the whole plan and held his nose throughout the whole ritual, which some deemed satanic. Dr. Muzrullah insisted it was

just a ritual; these days most people didn't actually believe it worked. "You didn't hear that from me though," said the Dr, winking. When the red velvet cake was completed, Nazir

took it on a silver platter to the Hill of Truth and summoned his guards. The Mandibles of the Apocalypse surrounded the Hill under the full moon and gazed upon the red velvet cake

out of which popped a lady so lovely it set the Mandibles clacking in a perpetual chitter, & delayed their Apocalypse by at least an epoch. "Shall I have cake or matron?" pondered

Big Roach."Or Both?"Matron-in-a-cake appeased the insect overlord & annually a matron was chosen to keep the delicate truce upright."This year Your Mandibleness, a particular treat

as this old decrepit hag is the last living human witness to your genocidal invasion of this planet. That any of us still live is because of your secret proclivities.

The old hag shook her fist to the sky and it hung there, shaking, for so long that it created a sympathetic vibration with the universe and a new world was born. A world of hags.