It had been nearly a year since THE EMBARASSMENT

It had been nearly a year since THE EMBARASSMENT

OF RICHES in my basement had been flooded on. Donning my orange biohaz suit, I descended the steps to check the damage, only to find a Black Mold colony. "Nice flag," I told them.

Then stepped on the mold colony's flag and walled-in outpost. Stupid mold. They always spend so much time on the design of the flag, but they forget. To them I am a giant and size

13 shoes can crush their puny little outpost in the mansions larder. But the mold spores tenaciously clung to my sole and I tracked it onto the Shahs 17th century Isfahan silk rug.

And this was the magical component. The super-sentient mold spores, armed with the rubber soles of my shoes, threaded their hyphae through the Isfahan rug and granted it mobility!

You've heard the phrase "magic carpet" countless times in your life. But have you ever stopped to imagine how extraordinary it is to be coursing through the air

without clothing, unaware of how you got there because you commenced a bender in Istanbul three weeks earlier and now come-to atop a magic carpet somewhere over the Mediterranean?

Nona and Squawker, the resident peregrine falcons, were nesting nearby and went unnoticed by the humanoids. They were thankful for everything. Their last offspring were prospering.

However, like all good things, their time had passed, Nora rested her head agains t Squaker one last time before the two of them fell silent one last time. As the sun set on