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An invisible hand tapped my shoulder. "If

  • An invisible hand tapped my shoulder. "If you're feeling down, buy stuff," it spake. Come to think of it, my wad of numbered paper was way less gratifying than a burrito. The Hand
  • led me to Pancho Villa Taqueria on 16th street. The hand ordered an especial carne asada burrito for me. Tasty, but I was still despondent. "You must buy more," suggested the hand.
  • But i was still despondent. This world is a rotting corpse with a little water in it.
  • Some said I was a prickly pear, but I thought I was an honest man enduring a wasteland. Some gasped about the dryness of their spiritual life. What would Marcus Aurelius do? I took
  • the liberty of translating one of his aphorisms from Latin. 'Whatever may befall you, it was preordained for you from everlasting.' So I thought I'd better just get on with it. I g
  • rabbed a pencil and began to write. "Dear God, It has come to my attention that since my life is fated by you, I would request some adjustments. Item 1: Increased funding
  • 2: better-looking overall design 3: downsizing of the background cast 4: much longer lunch-breaks, irrespective of lunch. Can you do that for me, God? (I'm believing in you!)"
  • 5: a longer vacation would also be nice. You said you'd give me the desires of my heart, right God? 6: Also, please do something about Rodney in the next cubicle. He bugs the hell
  • ...uh, heck out of me (sorry, God). 7: If it would not be asking too much, God, would you also provide me with the cure for cancer? That would help a lot. 8: Another thing,
  • about this "death" thing. Are you SURE it's for everyone? I mean, I personally don't think its a great fit for me. Of course, you know best. I'm just gonna skip 9 and 10... Thanks.
Started
2013-11-19 21:03:17
Finished
2015-05-27 15:05:38

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Chaz May 27 2015 @ 17:02

    Thank you for your concern... all lines are busy right now but your request is important.
  2. Avatar

    lucielucie May 28 2015 @ 13:18

    V. lovely story showcasing our great love of lists :)

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