At this time of year, the beach is deserted.

At this time of year, the beach is deserted. There is little sound, save for the crashing waves and the brittle leaves of trees blowing in the wind. Unexpectedly, I hear footsteps.

Despite the soft, inaudible sand; this blissful silence heightens my listening, and the footsteps echo as they approach closer and closer.

I reach out, and discover that my weapons have gone from my grip. Beginning to grow a little panicked, I search fruitlessly for something that I can use as a makeshift weapon.

My fingers scrabble uselessly along the ground, coming up empty. Just as I was about to give up hope, my fingers closed around something hard and round, though I wasn't sure what

It turned out to be a cafeteria cookie from work that had gotten out of my pocket, those cookies are the deadliest weapon know to man. I knew what I had to do.

I hurled the thing with deadly precision across the room and it struck the skull of my nemesis. Blood shot from the wound like an uncapped fire hydrant.

-ckening bouquet bubbling from the bloody body. My lungs burned like a billion red hot needles poking my alveoli! The agony! I LIKED the agony! I shoved my face into the mutilated

chocolate-covered fire ants. It was painfully delicious, a sickly sweet but short end to one of the strangest nights of my life.