Hundreds of years ago, our planet hosted

"We are not your slaves, and we are not the slaves of our genome!"was the war-cry of jerome522, martyr of a failed rebellion. But the Ultrarich's nxMOAR virus dealt with the merely

stupid in the harshest way possible: it ripped apart and rearranged their DNA, causing a slow and extremely painful mutation into Jessica Simpson. The Ultrarich's plan was simple:

rearrange 2 people a day and double it every day for 240 days. The Ultrarich couldn't help imagining having billions of Jessica Simpson's at his beck n call. He'd make them wash

all his dishes. He paced by the window, reworking equations written on the glass. Swapping 2 people daily, and doubling it every 240 days should be the answer. And Jessica Simpson

had nothing to do with after all. She had simply been a distraction, a red herring if you will. So by implementing the 2 people/day doubling every 240 days worked they eeked out a

meager living selling Cheezits dipped in Tabasco and a spoonful of molasses with pickle juice called sour savor cheese nipples. She was discarded but their business took off with a

only a few small hitches. One of them being that people did not particularly like the taste of sour savor cheese nipples. People, however were often curious about them and were

Bought them at Pick And Save. The Maalox bottles sold like crazy too. According to Dr. Sljhtrbe, there were a record number of Maalox moments, 5,726,966. It made the news. Dr. Mews

, the Pick And Save pharmacist, finally had to up and close the store to save his sanity. He whittled away his final years in a cabin in Alaska, making strange totem poles. Tosser.