42

Don't mess with me. Just give me three gin

  • Don't mess with me. Just give me three gin and tonics and leave me ALONE! But before you go, would you mind handing me the remote? I want to watch "Leave It to Beaver" reruns.
  • We handed over the remote, both bottles, and a large glass with ice. Didn't bother with the limes. Best not to have a knife around mom during one of her turns anyway. The thing tha
  • ngy-majig was what Grandpa Nelson always called the remote control. He used two hands to press one button. Hard. I could hear the plastic groan. "You ain't squeezing orange juice
  • Granpop Nelson!" I said. " That there remote's gonna crack under the pressure you's applyin'. Cain't switch off if the remote's broke." "Don't never want to switch off. Don't never
  • use no double negatives in this house no more. Once them habits start it's hard to part ways with 'em." Grandpop sure did have nifty advice. I ain't never gonna see better nowhere.
  • Though he was boring being a grammar Nazi, he had a point. Only thing bothering his roommates was that he was breaking the language rules himself. They decided to get rid of him.
  • They defenestrated him when he got drunk and fell to death on October 1, 2016. As it turned out, the prospectof Det. Fjdfhgxcgy coming to investigate made his roommates defenestrat
  • -e into the defenestratosphere, and that suited Det. Fjdfhgxcgy just fine. In court the following Tuesday, Judge Jordan Interruptus lead the jury in mock prayer before the trial.
  • Bailiff Coitus Interruptus folded his forearms together and her bulbous greenish eyes seemed lidded in prayer. This was the opportunity the accused Ojjahkjhfkasjhfkjshdkjkhg was
  • looking for. Ojjahkjhfkasjhfkjshdkjkhg reached out grabbed her bulbous eyed head and with a slurpy sucky sound he slipped her the tongue. She squeeled. Mine all mine, he thought.
Started
2013-05-17 17:28:41
Finished
2016-10-03 17:48:43

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Oct 04 2016 @ 15:07

    See- this is why gin is called The Devil's Juice.
  2. Avatar

    PurpleProf Oct 04 2016 @ 21:21

    I remember starting this story. I was mad at jefforama.

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