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It was dark, clouds covered the sky. I stood

  • It was dark, clouds covered the sky. I stood there in the middle of the street, looking around.
  • I was under a street light in Witchita looking for my uncle's leatherbound manuscript which I'd lost on a safari in Kafue on the Mukambi loop in btoad daylight.
  • 'btoad daylight' is the Tonganese phrase: 'day that makes you feel like zebra dung'. I slip that into conversation now & then but everyone in Witchita ignores me. The lost book
  • "Tonganese Phrases to Influence and Impress" was not really panning out the way I hoped. No matter how many phrases I tried to work into my conversations no one seemed influenced o
  • n the contrary, they literally spat in my face. After a week of this, I realized I was not on the island nation of Tonga. I was in the Fillipines. That could mean only one thing.
  • I needed to buy a map. Clearly my GPS was way off track: Tonga instead of the Philippines? It was just as that girl in the beauty pageant had said, "Some people...don't have maps."
  • "People that don't have maps are always followers. No responsibility, no blame." She smiled her beauty pageant smile and walked back to her place with the finalists. My disgust
  • for her fake plastic smile was exceeded only by my appreciation for her physical form. I mentally navigated lush hills and valleys as she walked away, no map required. The pageant
  • judges had been bribed though, so the chubby platinum blonde with bad teeth was crowned instead. Instinctively, I made my way backstage to comfort Miss Hills & Valleys. Her mascara
  • ran down her face, neck, & into her considerable cleavage, producing a shadow effect that really made 'em pop. The judges reconsidered and declared Miss Hills & Valleys champion!!!

1 Comments

  1. lucielucie Feb 24 2015 @ 06:34

    Deuxoeuvre - no map required - lol

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