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Humans distinguish themselves through tool

  • Humans distinguish themselves through tool use. No primates, elephants, parrots & octopi do too. Okay, but humans use sounds to represent objects. No, chimps can do that.
  • Humans think about stuff. That's all we have on our side. We build stuff and think about it. We have flimsy arms and bony brains. How we've survived this long i don't know.
  • Probably because we are so horny all the time, and procreate like demented rabbits. We can lose a fairly large number of flimsy armed bony brained brethren and still survive. Well,
  • no one said being a horned lizard was going to be easy. I had just escaped another road runner blitzkrieg & fornicated with a rough patch of caliche when I heard the most wonderful
  • colour, my horns the sound of music descending upon the rough sand of yesteryear, the mere gestures of this horned lizard envoking riots of noise and colour and shapes and
  • emotions. The horned lizard knew the reverence he inspired in us, and bade us to worship him as a God. "All hail the Lizard God," the masses chanted. His tongue flicked happily.
  • Then one day there came a green gecko with a message saving the 15% which is all the Lizard God had promised were coming due & there would be a reckoning & claims settled but good.
  • The Lizard God sent, as Claims Adjuster, the son of a small town dance instructor who is on the verge of losing his studio space because of a domestic abuse charge filed by his exh
  • umed wife's undertaker's buddy cum live in lover cum pimp daddy's aunt's home provider's middle daughter, Steaphanie's orthodontist alleging multiple psychic abrasions on the vic
  • -car, who wanted to wash his hands of the whole affair as he walked from the grave. No-one was saved. All the crazy people. Where do they all cum frum?
Started
2015-02-08 13:18:56
Finished
2018-05-14 11:20:09

5 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman May 14 2018 @ 12:05

    horned lizard, that's who, horned lizard with a forked tongue!
  2. Avatar

    Woab May 14 2018 @ 17:19

    By jove, you may be right about that, old bean.
  3. Avatar

    Shabadu666 May 19 2018 @ 18:02

    I didn't know that Eleanor Rigby was an orthodontist.
  4. Avatar

    LordVacuity May 19 2018 @ 18:08

    The Lizard God's healthcare plan does not cover orthodontists. Lizards don't have teeth.
  5. Avatar

    LordVacuity May 19 2018 @ 18:09

    Wait. Maybe they do because the healthcare plan does, in fact, pay for orthodontists.

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