The Strange High Man in the Woods has stood

The Strange High Man in the Woods has stood there for 80 years. Mother says he took his final walk the evening of April 23, 19__ and has not moved or spoken since. Some say he is a

prophet, some that he's a fool. But it is a wonder how me can live all these years with just the sparrows nesting in his beard to feed him, and the mossy growth for a winter coat.

But the man they used to call Conan O'brien just smiled. His beard sparrows and moss coat hummed in harmonious nature with him as he commanded the bears of the zoo with his

impish grin and a waving lock of hair... you know the one. The bears, eager to comply with The Host Formerly Known As Conan's wish, leapt from the safety of their enclosure and

However, we had reckoned without the bear rights groups who were particularly vocal in their demands for a fair investigation into the deaths. The leader (who bore a resemblance to

Joseph Stalin) sought the death penalty for the (incog) perps. "Yogi & Boo Boo shall not go unavenged!" he vowed. The bodies hadn't yet shown up, but Det. Manatee found Yogi's hat

And checked it out. Stalin was showing his softer side and was finally willing to sell his robot collection in exchange for testimonial immunity from prosecution. It was all a show

trial orchestrated by the nascent KGB to highlight the transparency of the Soviet legal system and how even the most powerful were subject to it. Stalin played along up to a point.

But when they asked him to put on the French maid outfit he refused and was sent out to buy more beer for the people still playing. Had the end justified the means or was he a putz