Boo Bo was the funniest clown I had ever

Boo Bo was the funniest clown I had ever met. I tried to impress him with a joke, so I combined his favorite subjects into one joke. Farts, sex, racism, kittens and leprechauns.

"Boo Bo, your claims are extraordinary," said Walter Cronkite. "What evidence supports your statement that farting kittens resemble Scottish lepers achieving sexual climax?"

"Wayuul it's mosely 'cause they'zz got hay'arz stayndin' owon ayeand, ayand are a waylin lieyuck one a theyum faart bayugs they put under they'ur arm pits." Cronkite thanks Boo Bo

o and silently thanks his lucky stars that the show is over. That dayum accent was killer. He didn't know how much longer his ears would hold out. Walter watched as she waddled off

the stage like an emperor penguin chick. He hid a grin when she tripped over her own feet, fell down, and slid the rest of the way on her big belly. "Yeehaw, y'all," she drawled.

It was never pretty when Paula Dean was 1) drunk and 2) way engaged in cosplay as a penguin. He hated her.

At first he hadn't hated Paula Dean, despite her being so quirky. It was only since the incident. The foot thing. The memories came flooding back and he vomitted a bit inside

. He had just enjoyed Paula Dean's southern biscuits and stepped into the kitchen. There she was, in bare feet, kneading the dough with her toes. His face took on a sickly hue.

This was nothing tv audiences should see. How unsanitary. The health department arrived and the shoe police told her to put shoes on her feet and then wash her hands 20 seconds