The only problem with writing Twilight fanfiction,

  • The only problem with writing Twilight fanfiction, and it's a big one, is that you have to read the Twilight books.

  • I read them once just to see how awful they were. A second time, just to be sure. And a third time to round out my ideas for my version of Twilight fanfiction. My main character

  • was Sonic the Hedgehog, whose tryst with Edward Cullen sparked a flame war in the comments. VampStamp69 posited that Edward was not the "friggin queermo" my fanfic claimed. Others

  • knew the truth. Edward Cullen was shell of vampire. His sparkly skin and day time frolics only signaled his total lack of commitment to true vampirism.

  • For true vampires knew that they were as weak as children when under the scorching glare of the day's sun. Why, with his traits, Edward Cullen ought to have been a Barian instead!

  • He went into the H-Mart for a hat. Madame Wu greeted him and showed him a Chinese hat from 1912. He bought it, and immediately ceased to look like a vampire. Miraculous, thought

  • Madame Wong, while gathering ingredients for her special soup of the day. "Madame Wu, who is that with you?" She eyed the pale man in the Chinese hat with red chin straps.

  • The man in the Chinese hat ordered the only soup of the house, miso soup. Madam Wong added a sprinkling of her special recipe love potion. She didn't believe in it's potency but

  • but the man in the Chinese hat fell instantly in love with Madame Wong's orangutan uninterested Herman. Who fell so deeply asleep the man in the Chinese hat thought that

  • someone had snuck in and made a paper mache replica of him. He tried to fill Herman with Chupa Chups and hang him from the ceiling for the children to beat. The orangutan ate him.



  1. Dhanithecat Dec 06 2016 @ 16:41

    Someone ate a good lunch!

  2. Woab Dec 07 2016 @ 15:40

    Wow! Lookit all the likes on this baby.

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