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My downward spiral of phlegmy misery continued.Another

  • My downward spiral of phlegmy misery continued.Another Doctor visit.When he prescribed homeopathic arsenic I cracked."Listen you stethoscope-swinging smock monkey,I need Antibiotic
  • treatment and I need it now!” I l wrapped my snot-encrusted hands around the quack's neck and squeezed until his eyes bulged out. “Tell me where the antibiotics are or I'll
  • ..,AHHHH-CHOOO!!" With a mucus explosion the old sawbones went flying out the window. I hastly rummaged through the cotton gauze and tounge depressors. No antibiotics anywhere.
  • Then the cook jammed a leather strap into my mouth, while the men held me down. The Saw Bones returned with a hacksaw. He rolled up my pant leg. "I'm from the future!" I screamed
  • , "I contain multitudes!" How to explain to Civil War era medics the circumstances that led to my condition and stewardship? The populace within rebeled when the hacksaw hit my leg
  • and from the garish wound of my partially-amputated leg crawled forth the huddled masses, yearning to breathe free. This would alter the course of Civil War history! What a mess I
  • got yesterday! "You've been selected to win a million dollars. Click this link to collect your money." So I clicked and clicked. I hope I get a million for each time. A new leg
  • end had been created. After I won millions of dollars from clicking the Internet link others also tried the same approach but their links just lead them to scam websites. I felt
  • compelled to share my winnings with them, but at the same time, I openly admit that I am damn selfish. I transferred all my millions to a Swiss bank account, moved to Grand Cayman
  • and became hugely fat. I'm carried around on litter by 4 strapping lads. Some bacon nailed to its roof ensures an eagle follows me at all times. Who says money can't buy happiness?
Started
2011-12-28 17:17:25
Finished
2013-05-06 04:45:54

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    lucielucie May 06 2013 @ 16:32

    I think I got the idea for the bacon & eagle from one of Napoleon III's coup attempts when he landed at Boulogne with bacon in his hat & a tame eagle to fly above him.
  2. Avatar

    lucielucie May 06 2013 @ 16:32

    Or something like that.

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