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The clown's real name was Dan, but everyone

  • The clown's real name was Dan, but everyone called him Danny Buckles after he got a tranq dart stuck in his
  • left foot. He was luckily fast enough to take it out before he passed out, but his friend Noah insisted
  • that he put that thing back in his pants! But once you take it out and let it breath a bit
  • it will oxidize into a chantarelle cap which we can eat, and then go straight to the Phish show. The night was
  • turning out to be crazier than Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Good thing we were going to hear some good music and with
  • the right mixture of countervailing drugs we might just make it through the night. Concerts like this were hard to
  • stomach, but we used our imagination. After setting off a few smoke bombs, it got more exciting. We were still laughing maniacally when the security guards found us. We
  • were like kids on a sugar-high - utterly psychotic. They didn't know what to do with us, so we kept
  • our hearts in little cages like the ones they use to lock up crazy people at the hospital. They hoped that with such strict security they'd be able to
  • get some entertainment from watching hooligans get caught trying to sneak past the "employees only" section of Wal*Mart.

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