YOU, SHALL NOT PASS!! cried Gandalf, as the

YOU, SHALL NOT PASS!! cried Gandalf, as the postman entered through his front gate. "Hi there Gandy, you got a parcel from a Mr.... Treebeard?" Gandalf swung his staff and the

Letter floated into his hands. Being Postman for Gandalf the Garrulous had it's perks. He could still do parlor tricks. GG opened the letter from Treebeard & raised a bushy brow

to his grand-pa-pa because he too had crazy, uncontrollable, captain cave man facial hair too. They saluted each other with different facial hair contortion which led to

a braiding together of their bean ticklers. Even Gillette Fusion failed to cause braid fission! So the endothermic soul (patch) merge fueled their follicles until the men resembled

some kind of backwards Medusa: Instead of one head with many snakes of hair, they had one collective of hair joining various heads together. The men of the single brain grew to a

manly men. The harpy-hydra-medusa was a boss monster that was nearly impossible to kill. The only way to subdue it was to offer tender and caring tributes while looking in a mirror

And saying 'piggypigpig' 3 times. That was supposed to kill the harpy-hydra medusa. Or so we thought. Instead, a bunch of slab bacon fell from the ceiling, which would have been

useful, except we were being chased by medusa. We knew we had to kill her, but we couldn't resist stopping to eat the bacon. Unfortunately my friend was turned to stone, so I ran.

numbers for the guys down at the bodega. Sure, the bacon was worth it! But after a while, kepping a step ahead of Medusa left me between a rock and a hard place.