There's nothing on the telly except crying

There's nothing on the telly except crying Scots.

So says the false televeneer of our society. Must not be "real" Scots, commented someone at the Hawk and Haggis, while others taciturnly relished the boost to the economy. Eric Mc

Duck was Scrooges nephew twice removed. But Eric McDuck wore pants. Oh yes, he wore pants.

Eric McDuck's pants were tailored to enhance his figure. They were large and vertical at the waist and tapered abruptly into two skinny pant legs with zippers so his feet could

fit through. He wore puffy white 3 fingered gloves on the ends of his wings, even though he had no hands. It was stupid. He wasn't fooling anyone. Anyway, dapper Eric McDuck would

laugh him right out of the Cartoon Character Country Club if he didn't dress the part. Later, at the C4, he saw Eric McDuck with a sailor shirt and no pants. "How does he do it?"

His friend, Chuck DeLuxe, who was with him at the time, laughed and explained it to him. "The poor schmuck gets away with it for one reason only. Eric McDuck doesn't have a dick."

That's why we need to donate to Eric's GoFundMe... for a brand new phallic organ.

We will call it “the Clarion Rod” and its beauty and magnificence will ripple through society, bringing peace and healing to the hearts of all who hear it’s call. But I tripped up

During the composition, causing the rod to deform its intent and its symphony created havoc and mayhem throughout the land, in C minor.