I looked him straight in the eye. "Wally,

I looked him straight in the eye. "Wally, it didn't have to be like this." I pulled out his mancard. "Mmmhmm. It shows right here that on May 22, 2004 you put cream in your coffee.

Wally said, "Golly, Beave, I didn't realize you were such a homophobe." I didn't care what Wally said. This was a total progressive ploy to get me to feel guilty for being

dumped on by my beau. Wally kept rambling about something but I ignored him, the Beave that I am. He thought it was wrong for me to get all bigoted, but I was angry about more than

the Queen of England! "This is why I quit. That Waldo stuff was an image created by the industry. I just wanna do me right now." He adjusted his sparkly ugg boots & striped khakis.

Queen Elizabeth was having a third cuppa while her servant took out his sketchbook. He was always sharing his work with her, getting her opinion. The Queen took up painting.

However, the queen's paintings were not what you might expect. Instead of regal portraits or landscapes, Queen Elizabeth had become obsessed with painting dank memes.

Though quite put off by the Queen's dreadful paintings, her subjects, fearing a beheading, pretended to appreciate them in Her presence. "Your Highness has quite a way with colour,

and the inclusion of the Royal Yorkies was an inspired touch!" The Queen, ever mindful of sycophants, rolled her regal eyes. "Well, one does require a hobby," she allowed.

The headline the next day at The News of the World was QUEEN GRANTS RIGHT TO HOBBIES. Over at The Sun the headline was QUEEN MOTHER IN TRYST WITH ALIEN BATBOY.