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An orc and an elf, imagine that. I never

  • An orc and an elf, imagine that. I never thought my son would ever get out of these mines, let alone find such a pretty thing to marry. An adventurer... who ever heard of that from

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  • Stubville, Wisconsin. But here he was, the adventurer, ready to enter Iron Mountain and seek his fortune under the nesting Jade Dragon.

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  • He did a quick inventory. Righteous vengeance? Check. Full armory of weapons? Check. Map of Iron Mountain? Check. Baby loaf of extra sharp cheddar? Check. He entered the mountain

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  • fortress coordinates into his GPS & hiked up the slope. Angband was as a toxic super site since Smog settled there so he also wore a Greenpeace suit. His dragon piercing harpoongun

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  • was firmly packed into his thong, and reinforced with discarded dragon scales - a natural flame retardant. His vibram's matched and he felt quite confident scaling the wall

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  • , but then he fell down. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!" The dragon scales rubbed him just the wrong way. "Now I'm all itchy! And my knee hurts! Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!"

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  • Now this was a man who some might call a crybaby, a hypochondriac and a whiner. But despite his allergies and sensitivity to dragon-scale scraping, this brave man endured so that

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  • in the 25th century he was still autographing the latest instalment of his autobiography, 'Another hundred years, another hundred beatings to my eggy heart.' The only dragon

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  • to use the word "eggy" in the title of his autobiography was kind of a pushover. The fact that his heart only beat once every year did make the dragon somewhat of interest to mode

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  • l as a hero for those with cardiac problems. "Eggy Beater" was a national phenomenon, with fifty percent of the book's proceeds going to the American Heart Association.

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1 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Aug 17 2012 @ 22:31

    Quality tail with a lot of heart.

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