Alone, old man Suzuki lived a quiet, rural

Alone, old man Suzuki lived a quiet, rural life in a decrepit hut near Kyoto, the ancient city where his dreams had been crushed, his fortune seized, and his only son kidnapped.

His neighbors barely acknowledged him but knew he was safe enough so they would leave their children to play under his cherry blossom tree while they dove for pearls in the ocean.

He'd saved up 3 small vials of tears & 20 banker's boxes of pancakes, enough for admittance to the faerie realm. He brought them to the tree, called out to the faeries and waited.

At midnight beams of the moon played through the trees & the shadows came to life, the King of Fairies appeared, inspected the vials & pancakes & said what about syrup you sap?

A spry sprite snapped her fingers, and a curvy server of maple syrup materialized before the Fairy King's eyes. Fae folk flitted about the beautiful, starlit feast. A ring of

pixies danced, their wings giving off blue radiance in the moonlight. Naiads sent beautiful water sprays in the air. Never before had the Fairy King’s feast been so beautiful.

"Ere mortal! Try some of Battenberg! Is delish!" The elf approached the peasant with a goblet of mead. "Well maybe a nibble." said the serf. He left the feast twenty years later.

"Newton!" cried the old bat that was my wife, "Where have you been all these years? The children have all grown up and gone to prison." "Praise heaven!" I cried, "No school tuition

fees for us! We've made it, darling!" I hi-fived my wife and went to purchase an expensive caravan immediately. Screw the life savings, I don't want to leave an inheritance behind.