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He was a serial pet killer. Ever since his

  • He was a serial pet killer. Ever since his family dog lifted its leg and peed into his infant eyes, he'd vowed revenge. He'd go over to people's houses and mysteriously pets would
  • cower and piss on themselves trying to get away from the mysterious serial pet killer. Once, on a visit to a neighbor's house, he actually pointed at the little dachshund and said
  • "who's got rolls?" "this one might be a tasty tidbit, but I have to have ketchup". We balked, backed up cause we were appalled at how
  • many verbs we'd got into the start of this sentence so we heaved, stiffled, and then spilled rolls, sausage and relish all over in interior of Tigers new convertible.
  • Which, of course, Tony did NOT think was "grrrrreeeaaat" in any sense of the word other than a great disaster. His fancy upholstery ruined, the spokestiger and his girlfriends did
  • -geridooed the "Upholstery Blues". It was the lead single on Tony's debut album, "White Tiger Problems". Other tracks included "Too Many Guest Dens," "No Stripes Left to Earn," &
  • "I Was Inbred to Be White." The hit single created awareness for the cruelty of tiger breeding practices and the exploitation of the poor cross-eyed cats. The song raised over five
  • thousand dollars for the World Wildlife Fund. Unfortunately, most of the funds came from rednecks who thought it was the Wrestling Federation and that the song was about them.
  • So, to mitigate damaging law suits, they decided to become the Wrestling Federation. Soon, pandas where sparring with dolphin-safe tuna - but of course, the cage was never used.
  • The remaining members of the original WWF later found work at a Pasadina roller disco, except for The Rock, who couldn't rollerskate.
Started
2011-02-21 13:28:10
Finished
2012-05-11 15:00:21

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    sundancer May 11 2012 @ 18:23

    I really liked this one. :-) LOL to Chaz's line after mine.

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