Billy wanted the torment to end. He told

Billy wanted the torment to end. He told his AV club colleagues and faculty sponsor that the video Sam had secretly made of him while he wore his wrestling uniform needed to

be reshot. The lighting was all wrong and his leotard did nothing to hide his enormous cankles. Making another Numa Numa video would help get the other kids off his case. Just one

set and passed out from too much booze. This is the last time he'd let his straight brother accompany him to gay mardi gras in Sydney. Pushing aside his brother, he stumbled out of

coffin that had been decorated like the ship from Peter Pan. Someone screamed, "Show your tits!" and hit him in the head with beads, and that really hurt. He took out his uzi

which he had whimsically named "Tits" to display to the crowd. He had a penchant for naming all of his weapons after female body parts... in particular, those naughty bits.

He had left his battle-ax "Gash" lodged in the skull of a rival chieftain. "Pussy" the whip had been buried along with its victim, to keep strangling the bastard in hell. Aiming

at the bare helmet of Darth Vader, he pulled the trigger of his Big Man. The explosion was so huge that...

... the planet exploded. Ben Kenobi braced himself against the wall of the Falcon, then sat down, shaking. "It was as though a million voices cried out and then were silenced."

He bottled the silence - most valuable for its suddenness - and sold it for a fortune on craigslist. He finally had enough money for that secluded bungalow on Risa.