Let me hear you scream if you like sex! And

Let me hear you scream if you like sex! And what goes good with sex?! Drugs! And what goes good with sex and drugs?!?! ROCK AND ROLL!!! Brrrrnananana badadada doodle doodle boomchi

The Girl Scout of Moose Lodge 3 just stared at us. We started the set with "Hell Porno Pyro." After my speed metal guitar solo, I grabbed the mike, "Uh, Happy Birthday to Beth."

Then I said, "And there is only one Friday the 13 this year." Girl Scout of Moose Lodge 3 started the slow clap. So our band went from speed metal to "She blinded me with science

against paranoia of the Mayans". Octavia on the orchestral bass was the only one not falling asleep during the long, slow song. Moose Lodge 3 was put to a doze and the evening

everyone woke up after sleeping for 3 days was the day the Mayans attacked. They raided the easily as the band was weak from hunger and thirst. Octavia who was still strong

Had hidden some Belvita biscuits and eaten them. It was now noon, she told everyone. Get up! Now! The Mayans had brought some food with them. Everyone ate together. A surprise

presentation of Mayan-symbol crackers enlivened the party as some of the guests arranged them in novel configurations and asked the Mayans what it meant. Veggies were absent, as we

"Guess what day it is!" shouted one partygoer, holding up a useless Mayan calendar. "HUMAN SACRIFICE DAY!" A partygoer's still-beating heart was cut out. Then a solar eclipse began

casting darkness, so the exhausted revelers could refresh themselves from the day's ordeals with a sound night's sleep. It's just bad kismet to enter Love Thy Fellow Day red-eyed!