though, to be honest, I’ve no idea why…Van
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though, to be honest, I’ve no idea why…Van Gogh and Renoir wore the old shawls. They had a bottle in brown paper bag between them. They pretended to be drunk old women.
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Matisse and Mondrian came over and started hitting on them - and it was working! With coquetish batting of eyelids Van Gogh and Renoir retired with their new-found beax to the top
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bunk of their canvas bed for a fauvist foursome. The resulting 'painting' would confound art historians later. Was it an early Mondrian or Renoir or collaboration of Van Gogh & Mat
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tisse. The colors suggested Monet, but the figures Holbein as they cavorted across the canvass in a display of human oddity. The painting, which had languished in a dark attic for
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decades, was coated by a thin layer of dust. Held up against the sunlight, the tones were reminiscent of Rembrandt, but the painting's actual artist was still inconclusive.
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It hung in an unknown gallery, quietly absorbing bohemian stares and stale exhalations from the stuffy atmosphere. An black market art dealer visited one day and recognized its
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Value at ten million dollops. That was not an inflated price. It was a lifesize painting of a cow, staring right at you. Someonr bought it and put it in their f
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ront parlor. When she had first seen it she had immediately flashed to seeing that as you are rising from the toilet and knew she had to have it. She commissioned 3 life sized cow
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portraits to be hung in the parlor. Their creepy bovine eyes were painted so that they followed you around the room. "Isn't that precious?" she gushed to all the visitors.
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But in the night the bovines came to life and stole all the cheese and stuffed it into the furniture and let it rot. This is for all the years humans have stolen our babies' food.
4
- Started
- 2012-03-03 20:29:00
- Finished
- 2017-04-06 18:30:22
6 Comments
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LordVacuity Apr 06 2017 @ 18:43
Of course the life size cow painting in front of the toilet only works if your toilet faces a wall and not the rest of the bathroom. Even there it could still work if you installed life size cow sculptures.
Woab Apr 07 2017 @ 15:29
Doesn't everyone?
Rebbie Apr 07 2017 @ 15:34
No my bathroom has a miniature rabbit in it. Or is that my BF's pocket oh well same difference.
Woab Apr 07 2017 @ 16:09
Actaully, my bathroom has a glow-in-the-dark octopus in it. But that's almost a cow. Or a miniature rabbit.
LordVacuity Apr 07 2017 @ 16:14
But you can't milk an octopus and their ink does not work with my HP Printer.
Rebbie Apr 07 2017 @ 16:20
No but you never need to worry that the octopus is too busy to give you a hug.