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Peter Jackson, maker of Drive-in zombie classic

  • Peter Jackson, maker of Drive-in zombie classic "Dead Alive" has returned to the Dark side with "The Zombit". Gollum's severed finger is an excuse for zombie-fu, elf-aardvarking

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  • martial arts action but with sharp teeth and strange orange eyes. Jackson is a quality director and the real selling point is the sword juggling

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  • sequence under the strobe lights. (True, he edited out the amputations of joints and whole fingers, but that part hardly competed with the flashy spectacle of the flying swords.)

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  • But then Quentin screamed, "Cut!" He'd all of sudden gotten sick of the whole martial arts thing. It was cheap. It was old. He was becoming a hack. He needed a huge dose of

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  • permethrin, a few lines of crypt dust, and maybe some Jane Austen and Tony Robbins. But a vaporous lady appeared and said, "Quentin, once you gave me this ..." But the music box

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  • suddenly stopped playing, and the lady vanished. Only her voice lingered, echoing in my mind... "Quentin, Quentin..." I looked about nervously, trying to understand whether

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  • the woman I had seen was real, some kind of psychotic fantasy, or a glimpse at the afterlife. Frankly, all three options were disturbing. "Pull yourself together, Quentin," I said

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  • I wondered if all the gruesome movies I had made triggered my subconscious into creating such a hallucination. I vowed to make no more movies like 'Kill Bill' or Pulp Fiction. Chi

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  • cago! (Now there's a film I wish they would have let me make! All those chicks in fishnets. Except Queen Latfah. I wouldn't have cast her. She gives me heartburn.) Yeah, Kill Bill

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  • was pretty obnoxious, but at least nobody talks about it anymore like Slenderman. Seriously, the video game industry's ruined by memes & pandering to base instincts & egocentrism.

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1 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Feb 04 2013 @ 05:56

    Cool one. "Quentin, Quentin..." echoed down the halls of the National Film Registrty, but it was just a hallucination. Seriously, can we get Peter Jackson to direct "The Zombit"? Who's writing the screenplay?

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