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The television's bright light was shining

  • The television's bright light was shining in the murky room. "Our former president George H. W. Bush died today dew to an unknown illness. A huge funeral wil-"
  • Fox News continued to ignore what everyone already knew: That deceased president Bush Sr. died of a chimpanzee attack when Bush Jr. saw something shiny on him. His son went berserk
  • and attacked the president. But unfortunately, a chimpanzee attack is
  • akin to attending a toddlers birthday party. You can expect to be irritated and exhausted by the end of it, but very seldom are they deadly. No, this president would have to be ass
  • conscious as these babies asses where among the rankest one would ever wish to encounter. The secret service got him a gas mask promptly and he proceeded to wade through the asses
  • but was unable to find the baby ass he was looking for. "The bare-assed baby assassin has to be here somewhere," reasoned Obama, studying a particularly puckered baby butt.
  • But Obama's hunt for the bare-assed baby assassin was hindered by Joe Biden (once again). Biden had been drunk twice today already and was sunburned due to beer-pong incident.
  • Now the FBI got involved, since neither Obama nor Biden were able to accomplish anything, let alone locate the BABA (bare-assed babt assassin). The govt. used acronyms to FEU (fuck
  • Ethiopian undertakers). Oh no! Diplomatic incident! The ghost of Haile Selassie haunted Obama until he sacrificed several quail coptically. The bare-assed babt assassin, meanwhile,
  • discovers a letter indicating his target was his long lost childhood friend. Obama had a strange desire to eat quail for dinner every night for a month.
Started
2012-05-06 18:36:51
Finished
2013-04-24 23:15:36

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    PurpleProf Apr 24 2013 @ 23:21

    Sick, but funny.
  2. Avatar

    Zetawilk Apr 24 2013 @ 23:32

    Actually, chimp attacks can very often be deadly. :3

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