Maria moved to a town near Rio,up on a hill,where

Maria moved to a town near Rio,up on a hill,where Pedro,Emperor of the Portuguese Kingdom and Brazil,used to spend his summers.Known as HydrangeasTown,Petropolis was to Maria an

oasis from her quotidian life, a refuge of magic where anything could happen. Indeed, her first day back in Petropolis, she received an invitation from Emperor Pedro, summoning her

to his marvelous Palace of Permanence. Emperor Pedro greeted her himself, levitating four elephants in the courtyard. She felt a surge of longing, or was it power, in her

-shey chocolate bars. Special dark that is. She was the Snobby Candy Witch and she was here to do battle with Emperor Pedro and his flying elephants.

Frankly, the Snobby Candy Witch was sick and tired of Pedro's elephants. She inserted six valia (plural for valium) into Pedro's Nutty Buddy and hosed his elephants our of the sky

So he could function at work.

In fact, work was his only function. His humanity was reduced to a cog in the industrial machine. Worse, he was satisfied.

Moreso, he felt happiest when anxious about something that wasn't worth the anxiety. So, at first, when he felt a dry spot on his 213th tooth he just assumed it was one of those.

He felt positively giddy as he called his dentist, Dr. Dewkirk. "Doc, I've got this dry patch on my 213th tooth," he shrieked into the phone. "Holy crap!" Dr. D shouted back.

We have to pull it! You have incisoritous. If untreated you'll become a leprechaun and start handing out presents and eggs." He chuckled. "You're fine mate! lay off the crackers."