Ollie looked up as Stanley crept up the stairs,

Ollie looked up as Stanley crept up the stairs, well aware that his time was nearly up. Stan gave him his best steely stare. Ollie's body tensed up, as his eyes darted around. He

saw nothing interesting. That was, until Ollie swapped his modern 3-D glasses for a pair of those old 3-D glasses with the red and blue lenses. Now Stanley looked extra colorful.

Now that I could see Stanley in 3D I was able to dodge his sword thrusts. I brandished my own sword and skewered him in the eye. Take that peripheral vision!

From cradle to grave, we would hook ourselves up to the iCocoon. Digital entertainment and nutrients would be pumped in. No need for harsh sunlight. In the future,

we would live like in the Matrix, only it would be by our own choice. What's better, working to earn a living, or have a tube up your ass while pretending to be James Bond and bone

thugz in harmony. But facts were facts. My whole comedy routine was a mash-up of double-o seven and hip-hop barbershop quartet, the tube in my ass, well that was for

ventilation, NOT ventriloquism, as many people over the years had accused me of. I was no dummy and had no dummy, but I had a lot of gas so a glassie in my assie was not only

snazzie it was gassie. I attached it to a water chamber like a bong. That's how I captured natural gas to save cash in the cold winter months. Beans are cheap! I'm no dummy.

I made the dummy do a bow and Madison Square Garden exploded with laughter and applause. Chalk up another 5 star performance for Vincent, the venerable ventriloquist!