"What have you done?"she said looking at

"What have you done?"she said looking at me like as if I were an alien."What?",I asked feeling hurt by her reaction."Why can't I just seat here and enjoy a

an iced latte? Good lord, I am tired for feeling like an outcast. Apart from my hunting sparrows in the public park, there isn't anything unusual about

my Tipi. I set it up in the courtyard at the Marriott. They tried to ask me to leave but I painted my face and went on a raid. They didn't have ponies so I had to take

scaping across the floor. Scree...The noise tore at me and the watchers threw feces in my path. I longed for the old days when it was just waterboarding. I'll break soon and tell

an amusing anecdote about a tiny man who fell in love with a ferret, which they will assume is a coded story revealing the whereabouts of the object they seek. But they'll be wrong

, the first letter of every word will be a signal to my superiors, "Tufted Omnivore Romanced Tiny Urchin Revealing Emotion." If I could just get it broadcast by morse code,

Whatever a tufted egrit read by octogenerian aardvarks really blows.

But then aardvarks don't write the kind of books you'd read on the bus. Aardvarkian philosophy is a tricky and interesting subject. Many thesises were written about it. However...

when the skies are dark, and ants scarce, perhaps you too may find solace in the pages of Aardvarkian philosophy, peace and tranquility in a terse termite-less world.