I was stuck in the restroom with no toilet

I was stuck in the restroom with no toilet paper. Stranded right after the biggest bout of diahrrea I'd ever had. I hear the door open and the boss walks in.

"Jesus, did something die in here?" my boss said. I panicked, I had an important meeting in 2 minutes. I did my best Walken impression,"Could you pass me a toilet roll please"

But my boss just stood there. Inhaling passionately like smelling a fine wine. "The roll please?" But my boss, stood there, and looked at me through the crack in the stall door

and said, "The Toilet Bowl Barracuda is beneath you. Smell." All I could smell was my breakfast bacon. "Boss, I don't believe..." But then I heard Heart's "Barracuda," and suddenly

looked down. It was only a split second later I felt the pain. The kind that makes your teech clench and head spin. My own family jewels, attacked by

My own sister. "JERK!" She added at the end, just for emphasis.

He grabbed a stick and chewed slowly, "This Slim Jim is delicious. Want some?" His girlfriend slapped him across the face. "Ow! Does your sis want some?" She stormed off. Clueless

about the vegan leanings of the Borage Sisters, he never understood the damper his favorite snack put on their libido. But Slim Jim's natural Texan charm never failed to work it's

meaty magic on the fairer sex. Slim Jim had fathered more bastards than you could shake an artificially flavored meat-like stick at. He was bathing in MSG one day when Little Debbi