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Months of practice, Joe was able to talk

  • Months of practice, Joe was able to talk subliminally. "HI TED! /give/HERE/me/ IS/the/THAT/day/REPORT /off/YOU /now/WANTED!" His boss stopped "Hey take the rest of the day off."
  • He got caught for speeding on the way home & told the cop "I'M SORRY/give me/ OFFICER/the keys/WAS I/to your/DRIVING TOO/car/FAST?" The cop promptly gave him the squadcar keys and
  • he hit the sirens on the way to the bank. Upon entering, he said "HELLO/I'll take/I'D LIKE TO/a briefcase/OPEN AN /full of tens/ACCOUNT TODAY/and twenties/. He took the briefcase
  • and slammed it on the table so hard it bounced into the teller's face. "Oopths!" he giggled, "my bad!" and covered his hand with his mouth. "Thisth isthn't going asth planned," he
  • hated going to the United Bank of Clownery. All he wanted was to withdraw 20 bucks. But the ATM squirted water in face. Now the Teller was doing goody hijinx. "Sir, I have to get g
  • lue from a human to purify my grandmother from sin, so please hold still while I get the bonesaw." He ran from the teller, screaming, "What kind of mickey mouse bank IS this?! I
  • just wanted to make a simple withdrawal!" "Sorry," said the teller now chasing me with the bonesaw. "Looks like you'll be making a deposit instead." The security guards blocked me
  • from phoning the FDIC on my cellular by severing my forearms. "Nice try," I retorted, kicking impotently into the lower air. The guards began to laugh, pointing at my bleeding
  • stumps. I rebuked them roundly for their unfeeling & frankly hurtful behaviour. The guards saw the error of their ways and got in a Chinese doctor to sew my arms back on. The FDIC
  • later extradited me because the Chinese doctor not only put my arms on backwards, but sewed them back with lead-based synthetic nerves. That's communism!

1 Comments

  1. PurpleProf Feb 21 2014 @ 16:16

    Hamstak!! "kicking impotently into the lower air..." Haha!!!!

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