I thought I could forget my boyfriend's betrayal,

I thought I could forget my boyfriend's betrayal, but I can't. Revenge obsesses my mind, but I could never attain it. He has everything he could want. All I have is suicide.

But then my Boyfriend came back. His hands were broken and bleeding. Caked with dirt. Blood oozed from his mouth. He'd dragged himself up from the grave. "Happy Birthday?"

Not another zombie boyfriend, I thought. Why does this keep happening to me? "Honey," I said gently, "You are dead now. I just don't think we have much in common anymore."

Her boyfriend however was not ready to give up on their relationship, zombie or not. He decided to find a way to revive himself in th hopes that his girlfriend would love him again

. He knew of a substance that could reanimate the dead; protoblood. Unfortunately, the stuff existed in a parallel universe that had been destroyed long ago. Maybe there was

a unicorn made of bacon that could transport him to the parallel universe containing the reanimating protoblood. He blew the great horn of Karkakar and suddenly heard a sizzling

sound. Soon he saw before him a marvelous creature enveloped in a hickory-smoke-scented haze. He climbed aboard the winged unibacorn and set off for the protoblood planet.

The unibacorn's crisp wings sizzled as it soared through space, dripping fat in its wake. He was amazed by the living creature made of cooked pork. Landing on the protoblood planet

New is perfect.