Agra had an interesting part-time job. He

Agra had an interesting part-time job. He worked at a casino at the downtrodden part of town. It functioned like an ordinary casino but the customers were unique, to say the least.

For example, last Wednesday, he saw a man (or at least, he thought it was a man) with what appeared to be two heads and an oddly bulging ceremonial sash. Next, an Italian bistro

blew up into fish & frogs which were then collected by the Red Jersey Devil, who nobody ever saw. Again, that was just last Wednesday. Was it maybe 2 dwarves with 1 standing on the

other's shoulders. But we'll never know for sure, because there were no witnesses. In fact, we're not even certain that the alleged events occurred on a Wednesday.

But I'd be haunted, and a liar if I said otherwise. Remembering her liquid green eyes and trembling hands as she passed to me the last remaining item, a scuffed leather

doll that she called "Hilda" and kept in a spare roll of toilet paper in the master bathroom. Her last words to me were "Take care fo Hilda... or else..." before she died. But I

had other plans. 1st I'd use up that "spare" roll of toilet paper that had been there for 20 years. That didn't take long. Next I'd "take care of Hilda." I held a match to the doll

ar bill, ignoring the residual aroma of a 1-roll pooping session. Hilda was a notorious skinflint, & the sight of the burning cash sent her into cardiac arrest. She was rushed to

Diagon Alley where Dr. Blakentruck's Urgent Care Tent handled such matters. They put the paddles on Hilda and blasted away. It took a few rounds but Hilda was saved! Her robes were

glowing a bright radioactive green, and she rose into the air and summoned lightning from her fingertips. Then I woke up and wondered what the hell had just happened. Oh well.