As I pulled the lever underneath the washing

As I pulled the lever underneath the washing machine, a bright purple slide opened beneath. I screamed with joy as the the tunnel twisted and turned. At the bottom there was a sign

that said this is where you brlong with a weird devil face.

I pricked my finger on a succulent plant with a thick fleshy stem bearing spines, brilliantly coloured flowers & a face. "Hello," it said

“My first wish will be that you do not grant my second wish. My second wish is that you grant my first wish. Oh, and my third is a million dollars I guess I don’t know lol.”

"Fine". The knight seemed a little flustered, but pulled and his phone and sent John the requested money. He did rose on his stead and left John alone by the Muddy Mountains.

John blinked, staring at the rapidly vanishing knight, wondering if it was customary for them to carry such advanced smartphones while wearing the old-fashioned armour so proudly.

The knight argued so intently on his cel with the provider he blindly rode into an ambush. "I don't care if Verizon is 2% cheaper I'm keeping Sprint!!" The marauders gawked- 2%?! "

Dropping their lances the thugs whipped out their cels to try to subscribe with Verizon, but this was the knights plan all along. His MobileOne Stallion (product placement) charged

with the power of an unlimited data plan. The thugs didn't have time to enter the captcha before the knight crashed through them and rode off into the sunset of net neutrality.FIN