Camping in the Rockies, he marveled at the

  • Camping in the Rockies, he marveled at the night sky. With the reduced atmosphere, the stars shown brightly. As he looked up, he noticed they were disappearing one by one.

  • God's Lite-Brite was malfunctioning. "Without stars, the planets will go haywire," he said. Jesus grabbed some Christmas lights and frantically hung them from the heavens.

  • The happy expectance on Jesus's face was quickly extinguished when the Christmas lights failed to go on after plugging them in. And now the age-old question can be answered: WWJD??

  • "Ah-ha," thought the greaser. "These lights must be manufactured by a fucking idiot if they're on a direct circuit. A parallel circuit would solve all these problems." So Jesus

  • De Garmo said, "Then I must be an idiot." The Greaser stepped closer. "What of it?" Jesus moved in, "I ain't the Jesus that turns another cheek, got it?" A carnival barker ran up

  • and shouted "Helicopter is arriving!". Jesus, the Greaser and the Carnival barker ran up to the clearing and fired a red flare. The sound of screaming goblins in the forest grew

  • louder. The copter landed and Jesus, the Greaser and the Carnival barker jumped aboard. It took off just as 1000 screaming goblins arrived on the scene. "Whoa, that was close."

  • It could have passed for what people experienced riding the red line the previous day. One lady said she would never take the red line again at 11pm. Her husband agreed. "You

  • know, these people have no idea how to run a transit system," he said. The couple gathered what they had left of their worldly possessions and marched off the train like a

  • pair of hobos- which they were. They made a solemn blood pact never to use the North Sentinel Island train network ever again, and marched off to find a locale serviced by Amtrak.



  1. SlimWhitman Mar 18 2016 @ 17:30

    I like to think JDG, the Greaser and the Carnival barker made it here: http://foldingstory.com/k90tw/

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!