I hate the summer olympics. The sound of

I hate the summer olympics. The sound of the starting gun always sends me into a hyperventilating state of panic. You see, I was a High School cross country runner. No one could

dream a more beautiful dream than the one I had of running in the summer olympics.That was when I still loved the summer.That's why I hate the summer olympics now:I hate the summer

. Everything about it. The corn, the heat, the children running around. Baseball and hot dogs and waterslides and thunderstorms. Just an absolute waste of a season. Why can't we ha

-te every season into raising its standards? You're on notice, Autumn, what with your leaves falling and school kicking into gear. Drown in shame, your presence pains me. Be like

your fashionable cousins, the nouveau seasons! Television premier season! Holiday shopping season! Drone warfare season! They are not tied to staid tradition, Autumn, you feeble-

Rancor Hole was deep enough to sink cars and pickup trucks. It sank Jabba's Honda Civic in 5:23:19. The reporter for Channel 5 was flabbergasted as he stood watching the sinkhole.

The odor police were investigating the incident. They asked the Channel 5 reporter to describe the flabber that had gasted him. He pointed into the sinkhole at a disguised Rancor

wanker and stated, "I am aghast at what that flabber passed," but denied any further elaboration to the Channel 5 reporter. That night, when he saw himself on the news, he shouted

"Goddamn! I am one fine piece of as_. . .perhaps I should have told the Channel 5 reporter the truth. . .Channel 5 is Fake News. . .no-one will be watching; nobody cares. . ."