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I once had a dream of huge worms with sharp

  • I once had a dream of huge worms with sharp teeth. They ate human meat. I ran and ran. But everywhere I went the worms were there.

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  • When i woke up there was taste of iron on my mouth from where I had bitten it. That was when I was five, and since then, I cannot stand any worms

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  • in my stool. The other thing you really ought to know about my life from age five on is that this big bumpy

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  • road which we call life has its twists and turns. But when I get discouraged I tune back into my 5 year old self and she says to me, "Trust no one. All motives are ulterior, and

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  • toast is served best with butter." Taking this advice on board I grabbed my bread knife and began to

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  • butter up the flight attendant who brought me the complimentary champagne I'd just toasted for his commendable service. They exchanged my butterknife for a special belted blanket

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  • To be used by the Dracula crew as a stage prop during the scene when the wrecking ball hits the casa royale. They slither throughthe rubble and then say, "I found the book!" When

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  • the book gets handed to the Philosopher Cook, he makes a stirring speech about how it takes humanity to redeem humanity for something it doesn't need redeeming for. Then the Dracul

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  • a impersonators come out and do their jazz dance routine set to "Monster Mash". Then we set off the pyrotechnics. Boom bam thank you mam, curtain.

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  • Rapt with anticipation we stood, waiting to hear a thunderous applause, but none came. That's when we realized that we had obliterated the audience. We slayed 'em. That's show biz.

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