And the dog got his wish. Two opposable thumbs

And the dog got his wish. Two opposable thumbs sprouted out of his paws. His eyes shifted left and right. He reached for the refrigerator and...pulled. It worked! The refrigerator

was filled with Yoplait Light. "Oh boy," said Sparky. "I grew opposable thumbs just in time for Lisa's bimonthly health kick." The dog put on his pea coat and left, searching for

the land of bacon and sausages. Sparky, now an anthropomorphic dog, took to the hobo life. His master, Lisa, put out an all points Dragnet to bring him under her lead.

Sorry, did I say "lead"? I meant bed...sheets. Lisa had taste. Lisa knew what she wanted. For her anthropomorphic dog Sparky, she had a shiny new collar and just for him a

smoking jacket. Sure, no one wears them anymore, but what says "I'm a dog and I've arrived", like a smoking jacket? The dog had lots of human qualities and could well appreciate

a properly rolled tobacco leaf or a nice snifter of brandy. But sometimes a dog needs something a little stronger to take the edge off. Something like a nice bowl full of crystal m

altesers in brandy milk, or crème de menthe and custard. Unfortunately Jackie and Ted, my jailers, don't know a good dog when they see one and satisfaction is hard to

get. That's when I decided to bolt. I tightened my collar, licked my fur clean from all the dust, adjusted my tail and ran like a lightning between Ted's legs. Jackie calligraphed

with other animals tails & was eventually stamped into one of his own calligraphic paintings by an angry elephant. My new master bought it & as I raised my hind leg to piss on him,

I saw Pamela Anderson hiding behind a palm frond in the corner. She'd witnessed everything and was taking pictures! Two days later, PETA showed up and man,oh, man were they busted!