39

I beat my mate at darts and stinky farts

  • I beat my mate at darts and stinky farts last night. He wasn't too pleased. He'd held both records for 2 years running. Tonight it's the burping contest and I'm eating lots of
  • broccoli and Dr. Pepper. Sounds disgusting and it is. But combined they produce a gas that would make a crime scene technician gag. It has taken years to find the perfect
  • brocc-to-Doc ratio, and it's been a financial burden. Plus, my mad science caused catastrophic damage and odor in every room but my basement. So here I sit, surrounded by rat terds
  • because I am a scientist who does research by working with rats. But it just hit me. These rats defecate constantly. I am surrounded by rat feces even though I'm curing
  • my own bacon in the next room. Maybe that's why there's constantly outbreaks of salmonella and E. coli poisoning in the department every time I make by famous BLTs! Energized that
  • not everyone I know has gone vegetarian, I served up seconds. Next week I will bring in steak and burgers, both medium rare of course. I avoided my doctor when
  • the moon was almost full because I probably would have browned him in a garlic white wine sauce in a lupine culinary psychosis, and he doesn't deserve that. He delivered me.
  • You see, usually werewolves rip chunks out of their victims and swallow them without chewing. But my parents sent me to Italain cookery school in Tuscany at great expense and I use
  • nothing but the finest Tuscan herbs and spices to marinate those chunks of victim. The other werewolves love it. Truth be told we're a lot more domesticated than most people think.
  • Mmmmmm...nomnomnomnom.... Why yes, I believe I would like a little ground pepper, thank you very much. Nononono...nothing else...nomnomnomnomnom...

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!