on a scale from one to even i can't

on a scale from one to even i can't
remember what the heck he was saying, so i just go away running fearing that the monster I saw were a fucking mirror
reflecting my own face. Eyeless and mouth hung open. My mind was on fire: "Who the fuck decided it was a good idea to make me go through this shit? And where the fuck am I now?"
I restlessly measured the room with my steps while trying to gather my thoughts about the situation. I couldn't gaze at the mirror, oh no. My Doppelganger stood there, mocking me
by making funny faces. Despairingly, I wondered if doing away with myself might result in my double's death- removing the threat. No... that would mean giving up Cap'n Crunch
And eating puffed rice instead.
But puffed rice has little nutritional value, so our hero became malnourished and wasted away to nothing. The family was relieved not to have much to pay for his interment. Ruby
took advantage of the confusion by shaving her head and slipping away unnoticed. The grass smelt particularly rich as she hotwired a car and sat behind the wheel. Meanwhile, back
at the mansion, the authorities were still searching for her. She knew she had to keep moving if she wanted to stay ahead of them. With a deep breath,
she leapt from the precipice with abandon, her cape billowing behind her like the super-hero she truly was. She sped through the clouds, knowing she'd someday have to return.

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