The only thing better than cheese, is melted

The only thing better than cheese, is melted cheese.

The only thing better than that is Pressurized Cheese spread. Works great as a sexual lubricant but be aware. It can become habit forming. My Lady was claiming her nether area was

permanently stained the color of a Cheezit. I dug it, but it was hurting her traffic on youporn and we needed that income because the cheese jonesing was getting worse. Last week

I went on a heavy run on Alpine Swiss Lace and smoked guoda. I started Friday night and woke up Wednesday facedown on a cheeselog at a bowling alley with a guy named

Ralph UpChuck. I immediately raced to pay tribute to the porcelain goddess, decorating its white alabaster with my technicolor yawn. Achieving new gut-wrenching sensations, I

gave in to the pain and collapsed on the bathroom floor. The next afternoon I awoke to someone yelling Ralph! ... Ralph! I pulled myself up and the world was a spinning blur

. Floor... down. Ceiling ... up. I was finally oriented properly. My cat was staring at me, "Ralph! Get up! Its afternoon and you still haven't fed me!" Since he never spoke before

at least not in Esperanto, I was dumbfounded. 'What the heck?' I said. 'Vous etes cochon' . Yikes , he called me a pig in French. 'Just how many languages do you know?' I asked. He

just smiled and replied, "Everalsay. Arfay oremay anthay ourya ittlelay ainbray ancay occesspray." This caused me to frown. "Wait a minute," I said, indignation rising. "That's

not english man. Speak so that regular-ay people-ay can-ay understand-ay!" Yeah I cracked his word code. Guess I showed him who the mayor of not-dumb-town-ville really is!