"Why are you walking funny?" I don't walk
- "Why are you walking funny?" I don't walk funny." "Yes you do! Just now when you walked over to the kitchen, I heard laughter coming from your shorts." "Oh that. That's just my
- pocket pet Eddie." "A pocket pet?" "Yeah. He's a sugar glider so he chatters a lot and giggles at just about anything, " I noted, as I pulled him from my back pocket. He chirped
- & started quoting Bukowski. "I'll give you 50 for it" "No, sorry, Little Eddie the sugarglider isnt 4 sale" As Eddie started spouting off more Barfly, I decided to stick him in a
- a cage with the polar bears. I thought Eddie the sugar glider would make friends and maybe even share some coke. However the polar bears had different ideas in mind that weren't so
- against a little blood and viscera. Quite the contrary polar bears love violence. They were built for it. God made their coat white to show the blood more. So, Eddie was a little s
- uspicious when the pet shop assistant said that it was a black polar bear. "Isn't that just a black bear?" I asked. "Now there's where you're making your mistake," she laughed.
- "This is a mutant polar bear. Ever since the oil prospecting &melting of the arctic ice cap there's tremendous selective pressure for a dark coat. You want him? He's potty trained.
- Just watch." The black polar bear moseyed over to the row of port-a-potties, then hesitated, looking over his shoulder at us. Perhaps global warming and my need of a polar bear
- urged him to want to urinate sitting down, on a seat, with a Nation Geographic Magazine to wipe himself. But, unfortunately, every port-a-potty was occupied, so the black polar
- had no choice but to go in the sea. "Rraar!" He said as he slipped into the ice cold water. "I haven't done this since I was a cub."
- Started
- 2013-05-20 23:26:08
- Finished
- 2015-07-16 16:05:13
3 Comments
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PurpleProf Jul 16 2015 @ 17:25
I think I must have been slightly inebriated when I wrote that first dumb line.
SlimWhitman Jul 16 2015 @ 18:08
What? Nothing dumb about it, that's a great starter! 'sides ay aways fold full up..s2%(&)S~`.....
SlimWhitman Jul 16 2015 @ 19:29
By the way, this story^s hilarious: wierdly it reminds me of the Zappa song, "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow"