27

I looked at my box of Cookie Crisp. It's

  • I looked at my box of Cookie Crisp. It's first mascot was Jarvis the Wizard, then it was a cop, and a burgler. The burglar had a dog. Now the dog is the only mascot and a wolf. Huh

    2
  • I wondered, "Why would Cookie Crisp put so much thought into mascots? The thing that sells that damn cereal is the cookies. BaM! Cereal made of cookies, what else do you need to

    3
  • get your brains into instant go-getter wheeler dealer mode? Fake cheese on yer pizzas, meat glued together with bone-glue and then cut into T-bones, chicks pumped with water to

    1
  • sell them to old ladies. "Sell, sell, sell!" was plastered on every wall in his apartment. He lived and breathed selling. His dream was to sell basic products, like air, sleep,

    3
  • and sunlight amongst other things. You see, he felt that by selling this basic products essential to any living organism, he would be selling life itself. He would be like a God,

    3
  • and above the laws of mortal men. That's how he justified dealing pot. Kids were the easiest customers, because they think the same way: All the same. Gods. "No" is for lesser

    3
  • giraffes. We called them giraffes cause we'd always see them poking their heads over the wall, chewing tobacco. Kids these days. Unfortunately, money was tight and I had to start

    3
  • a shady business to keep myself above water. Recognizing potential in the Star Wars cult among youth I sold "Chew Bacca, the chew of Kashyyyk" made of mulch & prechewed gum

    3
  • that failed commercially until the "Totally Wild!" version, with the added parrot droppings. Things rocked until Dr. Root chewed a stick while peering in my mouth. My heart stopped

    3
  • when Jimmy Jazz walked in the door carrying a case of kombucha. It was my favourite, Mystic Mango! "Thank you", I said as opened it and drank one. I called a cab home, it was heavy

    3

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!