This is the story of a girl, who cried a

This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drown her boyfriends fish. She looked so sad and needed some cheering up and.....

so her boyfriend took her to meet the Pfiser rep who gave a ton of prozac. This would "Cheer" her up but she might still look sad. So he gave them a # to a plastic surgeon and

soon enough she was in the recovery "den" of the Plastic Surgery Clinic "In and out with a SMILE". The others in the room seemed perfectly happy to watch Barnie sing "I love you".

She looked more closely at everyone else in the room. They had the exact same smiles as Barney! "Oh no!" she exclaimed as she looked in a mirror and saw a humongously cheesy grin

stretching to an irregular width across her face. "This is a job for Dr. Allan Grant!" she declared through gritted teeth. Everyone's Barney-esque smile was gouging their dimples

from their sockets, and she finally submitted to his rage. Dr. Allan Grant: Teacher-Librarian. He was a spectacle. The crowd gathered and stared at him and his suit, covered in

pinstripes, polka dots, and...god, were those intersecting triangles or varying sizes? Grant's sport jacket looked like goddamn Chuck E. Cheese carpeting. A lady in the third row

was wearing some sort of Madonna's Like A Virgin get up, you know from the MTV music awards, when they used to play music? Thank god, I choose to wear my MC Hammer pants, the gold

ones, extra baggy, extra saggy. I looked sharp & I knew it. So I strolled confidently up to her in her Like A Virgin get up, did a head nod, jump-twist-spin into Vogue pose & said

"Taxation IS theft!"