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This is the story of a girl, who cried a

  • This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drown her boyfriends fish. She looked so sad and needed some cheering up and.....

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  • so her boyfriend took her to meet the Pfiser rep who gave a ton of prozac. This would "Cheer" her up but she might still look sad. So he gave them a # to a plastic surgeon and

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  • soon enough she was in the recovery "den" of the Plastic Surgery Clinic "In and out with a SMILE". The others in the room seemed perfectly happy to watch Barnie sing "I love you".

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  • She looked more closely at everyone else in the room. They had the exact same smiles as Barney! "Oh no!" she exclaimed as she looked in a mirror and saw a humongously cheesy grin

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  • stretching to an irregular width across her face. "This is a job for Dr. Allan Grant!" she declared through gritted teeth. Everyone's Barney-esque smile was gouging their dimples

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  • from their sockets, and she finally submitted to his rage. Dr. Allan Grant: Teacher-Librarian. He was a spectacle. The crowd gathered and stared at him and his suit, covered in

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  • pinstripes, polka dots, and...god, were those intersecting triangles or varying sizes? Grant's sport jacket looked like goddamn Chuck E. Cheese carpeting. A lady in the third row

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  • was wearing some sort of Madonna's Like A Virgin get up, you know from the MTV music awards, when they used to play music? Thank god, I choose to wear my MC Hammer pants, the gold

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  • ones, extra baggy, extra saggy. I looked sharp & I knew it. So I strolled confidently up to her in her Like A Virgin get up, did a head nod, jump-twist-spin into Vogue pose & said

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  • "Taxation IS theft!"

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1 Comments

  1. Zetawilk Oct 03 2012 @ 00:15

    He's come a ways since paleontology, that Dr. Grant. At least the story had a good moral, though!

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