The tirade of all the athletes occurred during

The tirade of all the athletes occurred during transgressions of inter-disparity amongst those which applaud. Now in possession of self worth, my dream of

sentient toasters seemed so trivial & appliance oriented.I wondered whether the transgressions of inter-disparity might be due to a subliminal dishwasher envy. My icecube dispenser

had taken to mumbling angrily whenever I walked in the room. Of course it did. Never trust ice cube dispensers: they have cold hearts. But overall my appliances were a happy lot. A

lthough when I woke up this morning, I realized I hadn't washed all of the dishes from last night. The food processor was angry and made the most cutting remarks. "Chop, chop!"

I was spinning because it seemed like the food processor was actually talking to me. It was puree torture going crazy. Everything seemed to blend together and my veins pulsed

ice as my fingernails were shocked through the roof. The days of the world were ending, as inanimate objects came to life and started to pinch, nab and murder innocent

formulas and blueprints. Without that information our foundations faltered and crumbled during the daily earthquakes. The Marks of the Beast took over local government and our taxe

S tripled. As did food prices. Gardens were back with a vengeance. I learned fly fishing.

It was very hard to keep the flies on the line once they took the bait. They tended to fly around the room wildly and get me all tangled up while I tried to reel them in.

The fishing line ensnared my left foot and I fell straight onto the wooden floor while flies buzzed around my head in a victory dance.