Dick's array of attention whores brought

Dick's array of attention whores brought him wealth and popularity, along with recurring VD and criticism. His wealth allowed him to buy the site, www.richasshole.com, with

which he began to sell packets and videos; instructing others in three easy steps how to molest and cajole their ways to the top. Like any great magician, he left out one thing:

deodorant. When the reviews were written that he really stunk up the place, they cut him like a double edged sword of truth. This is why he vowed revenge; this is why he

became a super-villian. Desperate for revenge, he lurked in the shadows, constantly coming up with hare-brained plans to conquer the world with his stench. Never again would he

chemistry labs and create roofie-dent. Most girls brushed their teeth before a date, he thought - and this way he'd score that much more frequently at the clubs.

What he'd fail to account for was the quickness with which it took effect. It effectively kept girls at home asleep, unable to even get to the clubs. He fumed as the night came and

the "roof fell in" (rather than being raised). Suddenly, a green Lunesta butterfly fluttered around him. "A counterspike!" he yelled, recalling his odd-tasting lunchtime milk. He

realised that his sleeping pills were severely altering his perception of reality. Gazing at the glowing luna moth, he began to grow fearful... what if

this was not a dream? What if the giant moth attacking the giant lizard was really happening. He upended his chair, hoping to wake up, not noticing the spinning top wasn't tipping.