A Frito, a Cheeto & a Dorito were sitting

A Frito, a Cheeto & a Dorito were sitting around the pantry one day. The Cheeto said "I'm the cheesiest!" The Dorito said "I'm the most angular!" The Frito looked at the others and

curled, "Just because you two once joined forces to create the greatest corn chip in the history of the Fritoverse -- the Cheeto-Dorito -- don't forget I was here first!" The Frito

Deity sent a cloud of nacho cheese dust to block out the Sun, the first of many plagues upon the ignorant "take other gods before the Frito Deity" masses. Next, low sodium snacking

100 calorie packages of chips spontaneously combusted, then all generic brands instantly melted into an orange rancid liquid, swelled their packages & exploded in consumers' faces.

It kinda reminded me of the time Uncle Wilmer got a little too excited while paging through Aunt Valetta's Victoria's Secret catalogue. Was that TMI? After the snacks exploded, we

were covered in seaweed flavored candies and Melba toasts. My eyes were stinging, I walked around waving my arms and shouting, "Uncle Wilmer, get the large bottle of

piranha bath from the pantry! We gone get us some revenge!" The Danube Bros. had played their last vicious joke. I was playing for keep. Uncle Wilmer arrived and set the bottle on

The kitchen counter. We had to confer about the next chess move. This was one tough opponent. We drank tequila and ate coq au vin while we conferred. Everyone was sleeping, even

our opponent, who had given up after 5 hrs of waiting for us to make the next move.We finally decided to castle."Whoohoo!"our team cheered wildly as the rook and king swapped spots

. "CASTLE-IT, CASTLE-IT ALL THE WAAY!!" Cheerleaders led the crowd as our mascot, "Knighty" went gangnam style. But sadly, at the end of the day, we were pwned.