He was in the Latino Law Bar Association

He was in the Latino Law Bar Association and worked as a deputy DA. Every morning he was hung over and every night he was coked up. Such is the life of a man who

added vowels to his name in order to pass for a minority so he could "take advantage" of affirmative action programs. Born Robert Parent, he was now Roberto Parente, a faux Latino.

Then he added a SKI to the end and became a Polish Latino "Roberto Parenteski." Then he found out the only school that would take him was in Warsaw Poland. Damn he should have

named himself "The Fantastic Robert"; it would have been less conspicuous. He made do with the Warsaw school, keeping an eye out for

the Warsaw vice principal, known to take his anger of his fourteen ex-wives out on the poor schoolchildren. "Only I am Fantastic enough to teach this man a lesson," Robert proudly

declared, even as soiled as his underpants appeared. "Now that was just disgusting," came the interjection of the round-toothed hippo-necked peacible content-floundering eggy

...Humpty Dumpty just knew that's what everybody was thinking, but wasn't messing oneself actually disgusting? And remedied much more quickly than putting himself back together

as long as the king's horses weren't around. They'd just shit all over the place and make it worse. Humpty wished he could kick the King's ass

[All of the following events have been chronicled into a compilation of nursery rhymes, for the purpose of keeping the truth from ever being revealed.]